Grow my hair for two and a half years because I want to be feminine and style it in girly ways in private.

Shave my head and all the women I know tell me it looks sexy.

Not the sexy I'm looking for.

If they only knew what I really wanted.

An Open Letter To Drew

Ms. Barrymore, I've only been slightly (okay...that's not true) attracted to you since the mid 90's....although, I thought you were really hot in Donnie Darko for some reason. Okay, okay...you are super hot, and I want to be you, but I always say I don't want to be a blond to prove some kind of irrelevant point....it doesn't matter. Let me get to the point okay.

You got a contract with Covergirl, and now you are just making me jealous. Extremely, extremely jealous

Especially when you go from upper to lower lip. It is...perfection!

Please stop telling me what are my lips....because you don't know what mine are lacking.

Thank you,


Sincerely,
-Cintia D.

What an ass!

Selfish Ideas

Fitting Dress

Shit

Trouble At The Hen House

Hair Advice (Before I Shave It All Off And Buy A Wig)

I don't know why I never thought to ask about this before, because there is probably someone out there who could help me....but I don't always make good decisions....for example trading Nirvana's Nevermind for the Gin Blossoms Good Real Feeling (?)(but I actually prefer that album anyway).

Anyway, I shaved my head for a few years but have been growing it for the last two and a half. I wear it in a pony tail at work because it kind of looks professional. At home I let it hang out. It's down past my shoulder blades. But it looks terrible - very frizzy...although on friday one female customer told me it looked good on a guy....and I wanted to tell her I wanted to have her hair.....so that's that.

I have thick, somewhat curly hair (girls always tell me they wish they had my hair), in the summer it is very frizzy....and all I want is straight sleek hair...because at least from there I could mess around with it.  I want to play with my hair and try to create different styles.

I don't have any special tools or anything because I don't know what to buy, and I don't know what I can discreetly get away with buying in the drug store( If anyone has a discreet enough cosmetic/beauty supply online delivery service please let me know).  I want to buy a straight iron, but ....yeah, they'd know it was for me...and I know too many people around here. I have a couple of brushes and combs that I bought out of town...and an aunt who sell's Avon.

I don't use any mouse (Moose) or gel anymore....I've never been good with hair....male or female...I use TresSemme conditioner and Pantene Smooth and Sleek Shampoo....

I use to dye my hair all the time. I've been blonde, Red, Brunette, and the darkest raven haired black you've ever seen.  I want highlights...I want curls...I want sleek, I want braids...I want Cindy Crawford waves....I use to dye my hair to show how I wanted what I want to be....I just didn't know it yet.....a bright red hair dye that turned out pink....I hated -But so much of me loved!

I want to one day go to a salon and tell them to make me beautiful....and  in our world we know what that means....but I just want, at the minimum to make me look girly but enough not to be too girly...until I come out.

I'm not looking for a quick fix, but if anyone has an idea to help me out...I just for once in my life want to have GIRL hair before my damn genes tell me I can't (baldness).

Basically, I just want to know more than I learned growing up...wash, rinse, repeat....I follow that very well...I love hair and how it can transform a person.....I want to be able to do that to myself while I can.

I've been told I'm a very sexy looking shaved head guy, but, if they only knew what I really want.

-Me

Sudden (Possible) Creativity

Transformation Commercial

A couple of changes of gender....but just a commerical for a haircutting chain. I especially like the first and last girls.

Satis....fact...ion

A little dirtier than some of my other posts.  Trying to come back with some caps.

Sometimes captions....Sometimes not.

Gave myself a bit of a makeover, and the blog too.  Hopefully it looks okay.  

I know I've said it before but I'm really going to try making captions more frequently - actually it seems most of my posts have been me saying the same thing -but hopefully it works out this time.

A couple of notes -for anyone who is a member of my yahoo group, I'm not deleting it, but I'm not adding to it either....so, it's there....but it is what it is.  I mainly just use it for links, but I've added all the blogs I follow on the side of this page here...so...

I've found myself feeling a little better about who I am, or rather, who I want to be.  I think I've let some things slip over the last few months, but I seem to care less and less about what others perceive me to be.  I just wish it came sooner.

I might create a separate page linked to this blog just for some of my current favorite captions.  Nothing to big, but just as a way to support some of the great captions out there, and the really nice work people are doing.  If anyone has suggestions or is against it please let me know....and about that....

I am terrible at getting back to people.  I just replied to some comments from almost a year ago.  I don't know what my problem is, but it's not a lack of appreciation....so I do apologize. I'd like to thank someone I really admire for pointing this out recently (you really are incredible), and I truly am sorry....I guess over the years I've let a lot of people down, and have not been communicative. I don't mind if you don't comment, but if you do I will try to get back in a timely fashion.  I hope to improve on that in the future.

This community, or whatever it is, is an important part of my life, and I don't want to lose it, and I thank you for your patience and letting me be involved.

-Cintia D.

Change Your World

Inspired

Had the afternoon off, and since I really wanted to start captioning again I focused on that. Definitely not my best work, but something might be better than nothing....start the wheel rolling again. Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post....really makes me feel better. Tired of not being who I am. Felt good to stand up for someone else.

Anyway, no guarantees but maybe there will be more caps soon.

BTW -This isn't a big thing, but exciting for me...my hair is long enough that I can put it in a decent ponytail...i want streaks or highlights next....but not ready to do that.

House Husband

I've had this photo on my computer for about three years trying to decide what to do with it...I guess I can delete it now.

Shy Brother/Fun Sister

Monique at the Salon

This caption would be much better if I paid more attention in French class. I apologize to any French friends.

Beginning With Breasts

High School Reunion Coming Out

Not Really A Caption...Sorry...more coming soon

I got upset at work today. A girl came into my store tonight. A couple of my co-workers snickered after she left, "Dude, that was a guy!"

I thought she was very good looking, very passable. They made a couple of jokes, that ignorant folk usually do...and then I just blurted out, "What difference does it make in your life? If that's what makes them happy then why do you have a problem with it. She's not hurting anyone."

To which ignorant jackass number one replied, "but it's a guy...dressed as a girl! That's wrong!"

I answered, "WOW! The God of right and wrong...right here in our store...making minimum wage too...glad you could stop by between writing commandments" Then I walked away.

That was the end of the joking around. I may have outed myself more than I planned to, but I'm really at the point that I don't care anymore -life is too short, and I'm too depressed to not speak my mind.

It really upset me. Someone just trying to live a normal life and has to put up with bullshit even just doing a simple task....I really wanted to be her more than I have ever wanted to be anyone else. Just to have what it takes to be who she wants to be and ignore what everyone else thinks.

The caption below is what I wish I'd said to her....and she's what I wish I could be