I thought she was very good looking, very passable. They made a couple of jokes, that ignorant folk usually do...and then I just blurted out, "What difference does it make in your life? If that's what makes them happy then why do you have a problem with it. She's not hurting anyone."
To which ignorant jackass number one replied, "but it's a guy...dressed as a girl! That's wrong!"
I answered, "WOW! The God of right and wrong...right here in our store...making minimum wage too...glad you could stop by between writing commandments" Then I walked away.
That was the end of the joking around. I may have outed myself more than I planned to, but I'm really at the point that I don't care anymore -life is too short, and I'm too depressed to not speak my mind.
It really upset me. Someone just trying to live a normal life and has to put up with bullshit even just doing a simple task....I really wanted to be her more than I have ever wanted to be anyone else. Just to have what it takes to be who she wants to be and ignore what everyone else thinks.
The caption below is what I wish I'd said to her....and she's what I wish I could be
This is a very beautiful sentiment and plea.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel disheartened, you did a brave thing sticking up for someone who wasn't there to defend themself.
It doesn't sound like you 'outed' yourself except as a kind, openminded person.
happy holiday Cintia....
and come back to us when you can.
We'll be waiting...
miki
I know what you mean, I've been confronted with situations like these before. I don't ever speak out and defend the person I usually to pussy to say anything. That was pretty brave of you already to tell them off like that. I would never think of doing that, me, risking the belief that they might think I'm gay or queer, or maybe someone like the person that came in... but with me, not caring is not speaking out.. Like to me I those people who are racist and make jokes around me and I say something but that doesn't shut them up, they just keep going but they don't care, and then I start not to care cause you cant change people in this world we live in, so I just choose not to partake in the racist jokes. So what I'm saying is that people aren't ever going to change, there's always going to be that one ignorant fuck...
ReplyDeleteI would have liked to meet someone like that... but I never get the chance to :/
Nice to hear from you girl!<3
I know what you mean, I've been confronted with situations like these before. I don't ever speak out and defend the person I usually to pussy to say anything. That was pretty brave of you already to tell them off like that. I would never think of doing that, me, risking the belief that they might think I'm gay or queer, or maybe someone like the person that came in... but with me, not caring is not speaking out.. Like to me I those people who are racist and make jokes around me and I say something but that doesn't shut them up, they just keep going but they don't care, and then I start not to care cause you cant change people in this world we live in, so I just choose not to partake in the racist jokes. So what I'm saying is that people aren't ever going to change, there's always going to be that one ignorant fuck...
ReplyDeleteI would have liked to meet someone like that... but I never get the chance to :/
Nice to hear from you girl!<3
Hey, I read your story just now I am in agreement with you. Be who you want to be, I know I want that, and do not care what others think. If those brain dead jerks can not live like that, then they are not worth the time.
ReplyDeleteGood job on your comment to them and even if you feel alone, know that you did the smart thing in the long run.
Thanks for responding Tina, I really love your work (let me get that out of the way before I start rambling).
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being apathetic(sorry its not apathy)...society grooms people into little groups...you can't change people, it will be a long time before it's safe for people who want to be a different gender to walk down the street besides in a parade (BTW Toronto has a huge GBLT parade every summer...I plan to attend next summer). I made fun of a gay classmate in the 8th grade and regret it to this day....denial -Hello!
As far as risking being called out for being queer or gay or so on...I don't know what I am, I know i'm not meant to be a boy...I know I'm not interested in a relationship (serious) with a girl,(that's for different reasons...psycho ex GF) I know that it's been a few years since I was serious with a girl and everyone assumes I'm gay....so I figure, what's the difference...I'll do whatever I want. I hate my job. I hate my life....and i can spend the rest of my life pretending to be someone I'm not...or just be me.
That doesn't mean I'm heading out to get an Ann Taylor dress...but if there is a sale...maybe I'll think about it.
Getting back to your topic, you are right -you can't change people. You can't change tired old stereotypes and prejudices...and that makes me sad. I'm 28...I want to believe we are growing as a society, but it gets murkier and murkier every day. I recently started putting my hair in a ponytail, and people I know started calling me a fag and so on....it's just hair(actually it looks good for a guy)....I like it long....ignorance is bliss, and there are a hell of a lot of happy people out there.
I completely understand why you don't say anything, and I'm sure what I wrote about is probably a one time thing...I'm not trying to be anything special...hell, I haven't even worn lipstick (what I love the most) in three years...I'm just tired of being afraid of having an open mind. I'm a terrible TG person.
The thing most people will never understand is that this isn't so much something I want, but something I was denied (I didn't have a choice -raised as a boy)...did I want to be the person I am....or who could I have been...I look at my cousin(and no I am not a redneck...just talking about someone with similar genes), and think "Her makeup is all wrong, she doesn't know how bad that dress looks..." and with a stroke of fate I could have been her (maybe a better girl) but I can't be her, I can't be a girl, and I'm stuck being awkward and ugly...I've learned how to tie a noose pretty well...but don't have the balls (HA).
I wish I were more extroverted to confront people when they make stupid comments like my co-workers said, I wish I could be someone important in this realm, and i wish we could all be who we wanted without judgment...
But...I'm rambling, I just want to be happy....and i don't know when I'll find that but knowing that there are people out there like you keeps me positive.
Thanks,
-Cintia
If you ever want to chat more I would love to..feel free to anytime.
Hi Cinthia,
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else I feel for how you must at felt and congratulate you for saying your piece.
Years ago I was 'made' while on a tube train in London and although I suffered no physical assault, I suffered for several stops in silence with no one in the crowded carriage sticking up for me and one or two even sniggering.
Had just one person spoken up, it would have made a world of difference.
On a different note, its nice to have you back, I look forward to more of your great caps.
Y. xxx
Just a brief comment in support of your speaking out as it took some guts to do just that.
ReplyDeleteWhatever peoples person opinions are - and they're kinda entitled to them -you don't humiliate or ridicule others. She caused no harm to anyone and collectively keeps people in work with her spending power.
Hugs,SB
Just a brief "Amen, Sister" from me :)
ReplyDeleteUpdate: I saw her a few months ago, before I was transferred to another location, and she looked even better and seemed really happy. I was happy for her.
ReplyDeleteThanks again everyone.
Cintia,
ReplyDeleteI would just like to thank you personally for standing up for her. People don't understand or don't care that the suicide rate for transgender is so high and people being intolerant or not understanding just makes life that much more difficult for someone that already has a difficult life.
I recently made the decision to start transitioning after close to 2 years of serious thought and hermiting myself away from society to examine myself in as much depth as possible. I've been incredibly lucky that everyone that is important to me has been accepting and understanding and even some encouraging; from my girlfriend, to my friend of 18 years and even my father. Without that acceptance and support I'd still follow through, but it would be just -that- much more difficult.
I'm not sure what has happened since then, but if you run into her or anyone else like that again, covertly just tell them that they aren't alone and they do have friends, if not you, then at least as a reminder. My girlfriend and I make sure to do the same when/if we come accross a transgender person as well.
In summation, thank you, and hopefully your words opened up your co-workers hearts at least slightly.
*hugs and pecks your cheek*
This is so wonderfully beautiful I have tears in my eyes. Thank you so much for saying what so many of us feel and wish to be known. I know you can do it one day--be who you are. I feel that you are so beautiful on the inside, that it will just naturally spill over to the outside. It will show so that you will see it even yourself. I am sure those around you already do. If I could cast a spell that would make you as you see yourself, I would in an instant. Just know that we see you, the wonderful feminine you. **hug**
ReplyDelete--Heather
Amen to all the above. Cintia - next time you may feel strong enough to say it.
ReplyDeleteAnd even if you don't, just thinking it is fine, too!
Kisses,
Chrissie
Thanks Naomi, HeatherWitch and SissyChrisse for your comments.
ReplyDeleteNaomi, I really admire you for your courage and for being who you want to be.
I understand how the suicide rate is so high, not gonna lie, I've often thought of it myself, and no one would really know why...,but I'm in a better place at the moment.
People are people, so if you're not hurting anyone why should anyone care what you are doing or what you are...but that's a perfect world.
I just "broke up" with a girl I love, and it was me who did it, because I didn't want to be the one to tell her I do love you, but I'd also like to be just like you... I've been alone for a long time and I'm okay with it....not fair...something she'd never understand.
I'd like to get back into this community on a more regular basis because it's really the only place I can be the person I feel I am, so when I get nice comments from everyone who's responded to this it really makes me feel good. But I didn't really do anything special, just spoke my mind.
I don't work in that part of the city anymore, but I also really hope she is doing well and being her true self.
Thanks again to you and everyone else for your comments.
-Me